In Scotland, we have an unfortunate habit of representing even the sunniest of days as a prelude to darkness. “Aye, it’ll rain tomorrow” or “That’ll be our summer.” How often I have heard these sentiments. We can’t control the weather so let’s learn to live with it and while we’re at it, thank our lucky stars we don’t face hurricanes, forest fires, droughts or skin cancer (by natural sunshine). Some argue it is our weather that gives us this propensity for doom mongering, but that doesn’t add up when we read that Iceland scores higher than any other European country on the happiness index.
To prosper as a nation we have to change the script. We need to use language to make ourselves feel better and others feel better about themselves. Why? Because we know positive affirmation is better than criticism. We also know we can talk ourselves into success or failure. That’s why I applaud recognition for those who go beyond the call of duty. Their efforts in work and out of work should be shouted from the rooftops. It is vital to encourage and support great practice. For young people encouragement can be life changing. What they hear today can shape their mindsets, language and outlook in the future. When the repeated use of ‘you can’t’ and ‘don’t’ echoes in a child’s ears is it any wonder that these become embedded in their adult vernacular.
As an employer, I seek above all else in my staff – enthusiasm, a can-do attitude, the ability to look someone in the eye and converse and, yes, the willingness to take risks. These are the essentials for a thriving workplace but they also enable people to grow, to socialise, to travel, to care, to lead, to teach and to continue on the learning journey.
I get frustrated when blame is poured on teachers and parents. That is too easy and it is a dereliction of our collective responsibility. We all help to create the mood music our young people grow up with and we all share a responsibility to change the record. I know it works.
Running a series of workshops for a large housing department. It became quickly apparent that tenants felt undervalued and staff unmotivated. They carried the torch for a bygone age of council housing and hadn’t moved on. But by changing from bureaucratic to customer focussed language, taking time and effort to thank tenants who abided by their tenancy and using a more upbeat and communicative approach all round, results were impressive – higher satisfaction, greater propensity to pay rent on time and more homes filled. Add higher staff attendance and performance and you get the picture.
Positive communication can move mountains so let’s be shrewd about how we use words. Let’s work hard to create a more affirming environment at home, at school and at work. A ‘thank you’, a ‘well done’ or a ‘you can do better’ say I notice, I respect and I value you. What do the posters and notice boards in your corridors say? Do they remind people they are important and do they reinforce positives?
In one Edinburgh housing estate I was asked by a resident why everything that came through her door reinforced poor health and poverty while her friend up-town was being sold takeaway restaurants and furniture.
Words are powerful – they stigmatise and they damage self-esteem but they can also make people believe they can take on the world. My plea – let’s do the latter.